An open letter to Ivanka Trump and female Trump supporters


Dear Ivanka Trump and female Trump supporters,

For the last few weeks I’ve been planning to write a post regarding Donald Trump’s treatment of women over this entire election.  Then I watched The Essential Donald Trump on CNN where you, Ivanka Trump,  were interviewed for the show.  You were asked if your father was a sexist. You responded,  your father is not a sexist and you would not be the woman you are today if your father was a sexist.  After hearing that statement, I realized my post needed to be directed towards you and the women who support your father.

First, to Ivanka Trump.  I don’t need to go into all the things your father has said about women over this campaign.  We all know what he’s said.  You said in the interview, that his words don’t matter; what matters are his actions.  I would argue that you are incorrect.  Do you know how many serial killers, rapists and pedophiles have wives and children they go home to every night? Do you know how many of them go to church on Sunday, go to work everyday, behave in a manner where no one notices them and are revered by their friends and family? What I’m saying is actions don’t mean shit.  People can and do hide their true selves from their family, their friends and the public.  The fact that your father put women in positions of power doesn’t mean he’s not a sexist.  I believe the women your father put in positions of power is a diversion.  It allows your father to seem as if he trusts and respects women because they hold important roles in his company.  And that would be true, if he wasn’t confrontational with every woman who questions him, apologized for the atrocious language and behavior he has exhibited and did not engage in unsolicited physical contact.   You may not be a part of the diversion, but you’re his daughter and I believe he loves you.  Of course he doesn’t treat you as he treats other women (at least I hope he doesn’t), so you would have no concept of how your father really feels about women.  Furthermore, his words do matter.  We are living in a world where men believe it is the woman’s responsibility to prevent their own sexual assault and/or rape.  Your dismissiveness of your father’s words, allows men to believe your father didn’t do anything wrong by kissing women without their permission, walking in on women while they are getting dressed and that his description of how he interacts with women when he meets them is normal.  You have to understand that every time you treat your father’s words and behavior as insignificant, you are validating and encouraging a very dangerous thought process regarding women.  You are not responsible for someone’s thoughts or actions, but I believe you have a responsibility to speak the truth and not contribute to the already volatile atmosphere we live in as women. 

I understand completely why you are supporting your father and unlike most people, I am not expecting you to go against him publicly.  Now, whether you support him because you don’t want to lose your position or because of blind loyalty, I don’t know.  What I do know, as a woman, I hope you are at least distressed about what you are doing and I hope you are telling your father in private how fucked up his behavior has been.  If you are not doing that Ivanka Trump, you should be ashamed of yourself.

To the female Trump supporters.  I have watched for almost a year and a half as you have supported a man who has been showing you for a year and a half that he has no respect or regard for women.  Any man, who 90% of the time he comes into contact with a woman, has conflict, has a problem with women.  This particular man has been exhibiting this behavior and mindset for years.   You were confronted with video and audio proof that he regards women as objects.  Your response to this is that men were just being men.  Do you even realize that you are perpetuating a culture that allows men to believe women who have been inappropriately touched, sexually assaulted or verbally abused, shouldn’t take it so seriously? Do you understand you are teaching the young men in your lives this kind of behavior is ok?  I’ve listened to you in interviews and on the campaign trail and I know you want to believe you’re not the same as the women who refuse to support Donald Trump.  To Donald Trump you are the same.  The fact that you support him does not mean he sees you as a person.  To him, because you are a woman, you are us and we are you.   The fact that you don’t recognize that is an awful feeling.  For weeks, I have been distraught because I am a staunch feminist.  I don’t care what color you are, where you come from, how much money you make or your beliefs; if you are a woman, I want to speak for your rights.  Even now, I have to fight for your fucking rights even though you are not fighting for yourself and are willing to put my freedoms in jeopardy.  As a woman, I am disappointed, heartbroken and ashamed of each and every one of you.  This election and your behavior has men asking how women expect to be respected and treated equally when they are willing to support a man who thinks they’re a pussy and tits.  The only thing I can hope for at this point, is you teach your daughters to have more respect for themselves than their mothers have displayed.  Your daughters cannot think Donald Trump’s behavior is how a man should behave.  It will lead to abusive relationships and years of self loathing.

Ivanka Trump and the female Trump supporters, I want you to understand that regardless of everything I have written above, I understand why you’re voting for Trump.  You can’t tell me it’s because of his plans, because he doesn’t have any.  You can’t tell me it’s because he knows so much about foreign affairs, economics, immigration, education or healthcare, because he knows nothing.  You can’t tell me it’s because he’s so charismatic and smooth, because he never answers a question and loses his cool all the time.  And you can’t tell me it’s because he’s a good business man, because he’s filed bankruptcy 13 times.  The only reason you would support Trump is because you hate yourself as a woman, you’re a racist, you hate Hillary, Barack and the Democrats so much that you are willing to put a narcissistic, sociopathic, misogynistic, xenophobic, racist in office.  Or it’s some combination of the three.  Along with all my feelings of anger and hurt, I feel sorry for you.  I feel sorry that you don’t know who you are, who you could be and understand your place in this world; I’m sorry that you don’t understand you’re a part of the feminist movement because you’re a woman; I’m sorry that we still can’t stand together against men like Donald Trump because of women like you.  I know none of this will change your minds, but I’m angry and I want you to know how I feel.  I don’t have the answers to everything, but I know supporting a man like Donald Trump will only lead to the downfall of all women, including you.

Sincerely,

Cynthia Pulley

 

 

 

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